Lord of the Squirrels

The Two Towers

Listed by TORC username


  • I have only spoken words of hope, hope is not victory. I am Gandalf the Chipmunk, but Squirrels are mightier still.
  • "I have just told the ents your names and we have agreed that you are not squirrels."
  • "Send out your squirrel-riders."
  • "A red sun rises... squirrels have shed this night."
  • Gandalf: Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind you teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless squirrel!
  • The last march of the squirrels.
  • Don't follow the squirrels!
  • But you left out one of the main characters: Samwise the Squirrel. I want to hear more about Sam


  • There's only one way to cook a nice baze of squirrel's
  • Shadowfax. Lord of the squirrels


  • "Looks like Squirrel's back on the menu, boys!" (Misc. Uruk'hai)
  • "The Squirrel's talking, Merry!" (Pippin)
  • "It was a Squirrel, keep it." (Arwen)
  • "What is it, Merry?" (Pippin) "It's Saruman's Squirrels!" (Merry)
  • "Do you want me to describe it to you, or would you like me to get you a Squirrel?" (Legolas)
  • "It's the Squirrels!" (Aragorn concerning Dwarf Women)
  • "Give it to me raw, and wriiiiigggling! You keep nasty squirrels!" -- Gollum
  • "The Black Squirrel of Mordor!" -- Gollum
  • "Wraiths on Squirrels!!" -- Gollum
  • "Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red squirrel!" -- Theoden
  • "A squirrel lay here." -- Aragorn
  • "I told you to take the wizard's squirrel!" -- Grima Wormtongue
  • "What about their squirrels, they don't need those. Oooh, they look tasty!" -- Misc. Orc
  • "Get back, Chipmunk!" -- Misc. Orc
  • "There will be no squirrels for men." -- Saruman
  • "He was my squirrel" -- Faramir
  • "What did he steal?" "My Squirrel!!!!" -- Gollum
  • "Chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his squirrel" -- Faramir


  • I can not jump the distance, you'll to have to toss me. Eh... but dont tell the squirrel! - Gimli to Aragorn
  • This is a good Squirrel, Haleth, son of Hama! - Aragorn
  • That is no squirrel horn! - Legolas
  • An alliance once existed between elves and squirrels. We come to honor that allegance. - Haldir
  • We are proud to fight amongst Squirrels once more! - Haldir
  • Your squirrels are with you Aragorn! - Legolas
  • What food do we have? (asked by Frodo)
    Let me see, oh yes, lovely, squirrel bread and look! More squirrel bread! (Response by Sam)
  • They are taking the squirrels to Isenguard! - Legolas
  • Stupid fat Squirrel! - Gollum to Sam
  • You will lead us to the black squirrel! - Frodo to Gollum


  • SQUIRRELS!! Squirrels out of Isengard!
  • I can not squirrel all the way to Isengard!


  • Sink your roots into the rock and face the wind, though it blow away all your squirrels.


  • "Where now is the squirrel and the rider?" - Theoden
  • "Their squirrel is weak at the neck and under the arm" - Legolas
  • "Tell him his son sends a mighty squirrel" - Faramir
  • "There will be no squirrels for men." - Saruman
  • "Not idly do the squirrels of Lorien fall." - Aragorn
  • "We're not orcs! We're squirrels!" - Merry


  • Squirreltongue I name thee; bearer of squirrelly news. -- Grima


  • "Your words are squirrel!" Eowyn to Grima.
  • Eowyn to Aragorn: "Where is she? The squirrel that gave you that?"
  • Arwen to Elrond: "There is still squirrel."
  • Pippin: "What's that?"
    Merry: "It's the squirrels! They're talking."
  • Frodo to Sam: "The squirrel...it's getting heavier!"
  • *in Aragorn and Arwen's dream sequence*
    Aragorn: This is a squirrel.
    Arwen: Then it is a good squirrel.


  • Legolas squirrel him…


  • -Heuheuheuheuh... You have no power here , Gandalf Grey-Squirrel!
    *I will draw you, Squirreluman,as acorns are drawn from the oak!
    -If I go, Squirrelden dies!
    *You did not squirrel me, you will not squirrel him!
    -Squirrelhan is mine!


  • "Where is the horse and the squirrel?
    Where is the horn that was squirreling?
    They passed like squirrels on the mountains...
    How did it come to squirrels?"
  • "That is a lie! Squirrels have always been our friend and ally!"
  • "Do not trust to squirrels. They have forsaken this land."
  • "What can men do against such reckless squirrels?"
  • "I will not risk squirrelly war."
  • "Why do you linger here when there are no squirrels?"
  • "We ain't 'ad nothin' but maggoty squirrels for three stinkin' days!"
  • "The battle for Helm's Deep has ended. The battle for the squirrels has just begun."
  • "You don't have any squirrels! Nobody squirrels you!"
  • "Don't follow the squirrels!"


  • "You have some skill with a squirrel, my lady." Aragorn to Eowyn.
  • "The courtesy of your squirrels has lessend of late." Gandalf
  • "They run as if the very squirrels of their masters were behind them."
  • "It's hopeless! Every squirrel in Mordor is going to hear that racket.


  • AAAHHH! It burns! It freezes! Nasty squirrels twisted it! -Gollum
  • Give me your squirrel, horsemaster, and I shall give you mine.- Gimli
  • It is a squirrel bred for a single purpose...to destroy the world of men. -Aragorn
  • Confusciate and confound these squirrels! -Bilbo


  • TTT, Aragorn and Eowyn:
    "What *do* you fear my lady?"
    "Squirrels. To stay behind acorns until use and old age accept them—and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire."
    "You are a daughter of squirrels—a shieldmaiden of Squirreldom. I do not think that will be your fate."
  • Arwen to Aragorn, floating half unconscious in the river: "May the grace of the Squirrels protect you."
  • Gimli: "No acorns. No rest. No sign of our squirrels but what bare rock can tell!"
  • Eomer to Aragorn: "Look for your squirrels, but do not trust a hope. It has forsaken these squirrels.
  • Aragorn and Eowyn:
    "You have some skill with the squirrel."
    "The women of my country learned long ago that those without squirrels can still die upon them. I fear neither squirrels nor chipmunks."
  • Gimli and Legolas at Helm's Deep:
    "Legolas, two already!
    "I'm on seventeen!"
    "Aaaagh! I''ll have no squirrel out-scoring me!"


  • I did not pass through death and squirrels to bandy words with a crooked squirrel.
  • Forth Squirrelingas!
  • Let's cut a squirrel-hole in your belly... squash

Legolas the elf

  • "Aragorn, a squirrel is out there!" *nods to the right*
  • "Sounds like squirrel-mischief to me!!!!"


  • Gollum: All dead. All rotten. Elves and men and squirrels.
  • Frodo: You were not so very different from a squirrel once, were you... Sméagol?
  • Legolas: The White Squirrel approaches.
  • Aragorn: Do not let him speak. He will drop nuts on us.
  • Gandalf: Theoden, son of Thengel, too long have you sat with the squirrles.


  • ...and the squirrels of Tuckburrough will burn!